I created a thing.
Hello Friend,
How are you?
2020 was quite the teacher for me, for all of us.
Prior to March 2020, I was cruising along and in a pretty good space. Then everything changed.
At the onset of the pandemic I was in a panic. I was experiencing intense anxiety symptoms, I couldn't breathe easily, I had insomnia. I was perpetually worried about my son and the entire world. I was struggling.
Suffering is often a doorway into healing. This, I know well.
I was alerted me to what was most essential. I needed to return to mind-body basics.
I needed to regulate my breathing. I needed to help my son adjust. I needed to feel and process my feelings, to grieve what was lost and to be with what was here.
I knew the supports that I needed. I turned towards what I have learned and practiced in the mind body healing realm for the past three decades and what I support others to learn. It brought forth some wonderful rewards.
I committed to my own mind body work. Suddenly, I began to do life differently...
I wasn't rushing from work to home to get meals ready and help with homework only to collapse at the end of the day.
I wasn't forcing myself to meet the demands of what I thought I should achieve as a parent, employee, homeowner, wife, daughter, friend and neighbor.
I wasn't continuously grasping for more, as is often my habit.
I slowed way way way way way down. I lowered expectations I had of myself. I did less - way less - in relation to my "typical" output.
I employed additional support.
I regulated my breathing by returning to the yogic methods I learned so many years ago.
I reconnected to a regular yoga practice, working the tension through and out of my body.
I took walks in nearby natural areas when possible. I breathed fresh air in wide open spaces. I relished in the wonders of nature.
I caught my mind in its neurotic habits of worrying about worst-case scenarios and reminded it of what was actually happening, and that it didn't need to travel down those old anxious paths.
I cherished silent moments. My morning meditation practice felt more sacred than ever. It provided a refuge for me to process everything that was happening, and to give myself a break.
I aligned my body, breath and mind.
Over the course of the pandemic months I noticed changes taking root.
Despite my active, antsy mind and insomnia, I felt more rested.
My panic gradually abated. I became clearer and calmer.
My breathing deepened and eased.
After some time, my body was noticeably stronger and steadier.
I was less affected by the mundane things that tended to annoy me.
I began to have more energy.
I felt more grounded than I had in years.
And at some point I noticed the insomnia was no longer an issue.
And then even more rewards.
I began to delight in creative expression. I picked up my ukelele and learned a new tune. I experimented with cooking new recipes and got lost in the joy of it.
I created and self-published a poetry book!
Interestingly, I was still working full time, parenting, cleaning the house, supporting patient groups, doing the shopping and the many other things I did pre-pandemic. My day-to-day in some ways wasn't all that different other than the absence of the commute and added social distancing. Except for these notable exceptions.
I intentionally added in self-care just about every day.
I deliberately relaxed self-pressure when I noticed it setting in.
I got stuff done with less stress, and the more I tended to my reactivity the more creative I felt.
Managing reactivity is a precursor to delighting in creativity.
2020 helped me to reconnect with what is most important. Self-care is essential. It's medicine. It's healing.
Less is more.
It took a bit of time to get into the swing of the habit of less. It requires a commitment and diligence.
The rewards are great. I feel more creative, rested and grounded. I feel stronger, calmer and more joyful.
Try it. Start by letting something go. A tiny thing. One less expectation. One less task. Use the newly-opened space in your calendar to breathe, stretch, walk or anything else that feels nourishing.
Get curious. Ask yourself:
What does my mind-body want? What does it need?
Feel free to share!
Mara
