Change is messy.
Hey! Here we are, continuing to exist as the world and our lives continue to change. We're figuring out how to safely come out of a pandemic. Our lives might look slightly - or very - different than how they were. Many things are still unknown.
Change is messy.
When change ensues, you (I) may first notice signs. Something just feels off. Your (my) mind tries to figure it out. Your (my) body spins off into its familiar anxiety feelings. Your (my) mind trundles along trying to predict what will happen. Your (my) body freezes up and withdrawals. This is what my system does.
Flare ups in the mind-body system are completely normal during change.
The mind-body system doesn't adapt easily to change, but it eventually does adapt. (I wrote more about this in my last newsletter). It takes time to settle into something new. If the uncertainty during change is ongoing. anxiety and rumination can continue. It's uncomfortable. It's not how you (I) want it to be. And yet, it's how it is.
Knowing that change is messy helps. I like this quote from Joe Dispenza that captures its essence well.
Change will probably entail a bit of discomfort, some inconvenience, a break from a predictable routine and a period of not knowing.
It helps me to remember that change is a process. It's impermanent. The unpredictable elements of it will eventually clarify, the direction of its trajectory will become more apparent, the footing along its path will have more solid ground under it.
However, while it's still messy and unpredictable, and while you (I) may be in the throes of it, here are a few things that have helped me to slow down the momentum of stress reactivity and connect with feel-good moments. Perhaps they can help you too.
Resourcing. Resourcing is an action that involves doing something simple that invites your mind-body system to attune to sensations of safety or goodness. Simple gestures such as enjoying the scent of honeysuckle while out walking, petting your sweet geriatric dog, or connecting with a beloved friend who brings you joy (all things I did this morning) help your nervous system return to and remember a more open, relaxed, calm state of being.
Imagine how you want to feel, and actually do things to bring about that feeling. Want to feel calm? Perhaps take a stroll in nature or do a slow, gentle yoga practice. Want to feel inspired? Listen to an inspirational talk or watch an inspirational video of someone doing something amazing. Want to feel love? Open your heart: listen to a love song, read a heartfelt poem, hug your sweet kiddo.
Practice thinking a better feeling thought. Our thoughts evoke feelings. Try this on: feel the sensations or energy in your body when you think "This is hard" compared to "Change is messy and that's ok." The latter thought is one I'm practicing right now. For me, it feels better and helps me to remember all the times I have moved through change, even when it was extremely challenging, and came out the other side in one piece. Caveat: make sure the thought you are practicing is one that is actually believable. Your system will reject thoughts it doesn't believe. Your body doesn't lie.
Here's another quote that supports my system during change (said by Deepak Chopra).
All great changes are preceded by chaos.
How do you want to feel? What brings about that feeling?
Feel free to share!
Mara
