Taking pause.

I was on a roll. I had momentum. I felt the FIRE that was fueling me to take actions. I felt as if I was moving forward in the direction of my dreams with coaching and what I would like to manifest. It was a great ride.

Then, I stalled out. My energy peaked, and I started feeling a lack of momentum. I noticed it as it was happening. I reached a point where I didn't know what actions to take next. I was no longer feeling led and the internal drive to continue DOING dissolved.

I started questioning myself, and the inner questions were not encouraging.

"How are you going to do this? How are you going to make this happen"? "How are you going to put forth the effort required to reach your goals, when you're feeling this tired and this confused"? "Do you really think you have what it takes to accomplish what you envision? Is it really possible"?

I started to doubt myself. And I started to do what I usually do when I have self-doubt and am feeling less than: I withdrew. I isolated. I ate ice cream. I watched TV.  I got busy. I made gigantic lists of everything I thought I should be doing, and I procrastinated. A whirlwind of limiting beliefs circled around in my mind causing me to spin, and contributed to a slew of self-judging thoughts. Thoughts that began with:

"You can't"... "You won't"... "You're not..." "You'll never"... "You should..." You shouldn't...."

I was in a rut.

With effort and trepidation, I starting sharing with people what was going on with me - people who listened and who were willing to help me to get to the root of my rut. They coached me. They asked me questions. Simple questions like:

"Why"?  "What do you make that mean"?  "What is happening right now?" "What feels like the next step"? "What feels like the truth in this moment"? 

And. lo and behold, answers arose. My own answers that arose from my own inner knowing. The answers that came to me were:

"Rest". "Take care of yourself". "Stretch". "Take some time to pause and regroup". "Take a break".

At first, I poo-pooed these messages. I continued to think that I should be doing something. And I continued to notice that "doing something" wasn't happening. It took a bit more time, with more support and more inner awareness of what was happening, for me to notice that my own inner experience was revealing the messages that I needed to hear most. 

"Stop." "Rest". "Take deep breaths". "Take walks". "Move your body".  "Relax your mind". 

When I finally listened, I felt a shift. It felt like this:


It felt like my body was able to breathe again. And once again, I was aligned with what felt most true.  I got the message this time, but no doubt this is one I will need help hearing over and over again.

What is your body revealing to you today?

Mara Wai4 Comments