Depression, lingering. Deeper than a long time. "Feel the pain" is the message.
I am, and it's painful.
Wanting to isolate, hide, disappear. J bringing me back to life.
I feel the familial, matrilineal pattern in me. Eons of suppression, depression. Sunken hollowness.
"Feel the pain" is the message.
In my mind's eye I see a soft glowing light deep to the darkness. It's almost imperceptible, but it's there. I know that I am tethered to it, like an astronaut to a line of oxygen. It is keeping me in life. I follow its lead with some resistance, but loosening. I allow myself to be led toward my light.